Can't sleep- Argh!!!!
It's been quite a while since I have danced with my old dear friend, Insomnia. No, not the book (which I didn't care much for) by Stephen King and no, not that movie with Robin Williams, Hillary Swank, and Al Pacino (which, with such a talented cast was quite a disappointment) . I just mean I plain old CAN"T F(%^KING SLEEP.
I know it's stress and I also know that it's due to a stressful situation which I am powerless to correct at this time so I guess I just have to ride the wave. My immune system is on the fritz and I feel like something big (and possibly ominous) is coming down the pike. Also, I am currently vacillating between mania and depression (bipolar much?) and have been starting to dwell on irrational thoughts such as the end of days (coming soon- 2012!) and the effects of global warming leading to anarchy and a war over water. I keep wondering if I should prepare for the coming apocalypse or just keep drinking so as not to mind it when it gets here. I haven't decided yet.
Just so you know...my old friend, Crazy, usually soon follows his pal, Insomnia, (or is he here already?)...so you might want to keep an eye on me or at least hide the sharp objects for awhile. I am greatly exaggerating on that last bit but seriously you never know the powerful effect of a lack of sleep until you've experienced it.
I'm only going on three nights and look at me already- weeee!
As a final note...I've been noticing references to a trend in art, design, and pop culture called "sinister cute" and aside from its anime origins I like it. It looks familiar (like those girls who where black nailpolish and then draw like nuns-right Gwenn?) It reminds me also of the "Gashlycrumb Tinies" and Nightmare before Christmas and Little Apple Dolls and all of those other "sick" things I am drawn to for some twisted reason. I would hyperlink to those references if I knew how to do that but I don't so ...happy googling if you are interested!
Well, it's 4:20 AM so I'm off to the kitchen to wash some dishes and make some tea. (Groan)
I know it's stress and I also know that it's due to a stressful situation which I am powerless to correct at this time so I guess I just have to ride the wave. My immune system is on the fritz and I feel like something big (and possibly ominous) is coming down the pike. Also, I am currently vacillating between mania and depression (bipolar much?) and have been starting to dwell on irrational thoughts such as the end of days (coming soon- 2012!) and the effects of global warming leading to anarchy and a war over water. I keep wondering if I should prepare for the coming apocalypse or just keep drinking so as not to mind it when it gets here. I haven't decided yet.
Just so you know...my old friend, Crazy, usually soon follows his pal, Insomnia, (or is he here already?)...so you might want to keep an eye on me or at least hide the sharp objects for awhile. I am greatly exaggerating on that last bit but seriously you never know the powerful effect of a lack of sleep until you've experienced it.
I'm only going on three nights and look at me already- weeee!
As a final note...I've been noticing references to a trend in art, design, and pop culture called "sinister cute" and aside from its anime origins I like it. It looks familiar (like those girls who where black nailpolish and then draw like nuns-right Gwenn?) It reminds me also of the "Gashlycrumb Tinies" and Nightmare before Christmas and Little Apple Dolls and all of those other "sick" things I am drawn to for some twisted reason. I would hyperlink to those references if I knew how to do that but I don't so ...happy googling if you are interested!
Well, it's 4:20 AM so I'm off to the kitchen to wash some dishes and make some tea. (Groan)
posted by virgo beemaiden | 3:02 AM
11 Comments:
I didn't know it was called "sinister cute" but that is cool. I think it's us.
Insomnia and I take a twirl often. One night of no sleep is tolerable. I can usually function fairly well. After a few nights though I do start to feel crazy.
I have been hanging with insomnia off and on lately, mostly on. On good nights I've been getting about 6 hours and on bad nights about 3. 6 hours is pretty good but when you intermingle it with 3 hour nights and there have been no 8 hour nights for weeks it starts to wear on you. I've seriously probably not had 8 hours in a month. I can't remember the last time I slept this bad for this long.
I am really concerned about you little virgo beemaiden. We need to talk some more about this before Crazy shows up.
Sweetie, you seem like you are up pretty early today as well...
This was only my third night of little sleep but it's being compounded with stress. I have been awake since 2:30 am. My kitchen was spotless until I decided to make a big breakfast for everyone so now it's a mess again. Figures.
Thnks for being here for me. How's the new place?
"have been starting to dwell on irrational thoughts such as the end of days (coming soon- 2012!) and the effects of global warming leading to anarchy and a war over water. I keep wondering if I should prepare for the coming apocalypse or just keep drinking so as not to mind it when it gets here. I haven't decided yet."
Whew, glad I'm not alone on having (ir)rational thoughts like that always near at hand. My current kick is the seemingly inevitable recession on the horizon...
I know a couple things that help me sleep but only a glass or two of wine is really appropriate to mention in mixed company...
3:02AM, 6:42AM, 7:54AM...ugh...I feel nausious just thinking about it. I hate getting less than 7 hours, that starts to wear on me. When I was working two jobs for a year, I was so chronically sleep deprived Kelley said I got retarded, that it damaged my brain and/or memory. I can't tell if I've ever recovered, but I do know I ended up in a fucked up daze for what seemed like weeks on end.
Glad to see a new blog post, sorry to see the content. I'm sure it can only help to vent/expunge/rant.
Speaking of ranting, I hear Sweet Adeline moved recently, but I don't see any post about it?
I'll get to it. Too stressed right now.
sounds like the three furies need to head over to bastress mountain after work for an hour or two of 'kicking it into neutral'!
That's a great idea! We might even let you and Kel come
virgo beemaiden & sweet adeline I feel so guilty for getting so much sleep while you two are lacking. I don't know how people can go without sleep and actually be functional at work. Ugh.
I often find myself thinking about things that may seem irrational to think about...mostly my thoughts seem to drift toward the conflict I am having with myself about my desire to eat meat (or rather foods which contain meat) but my longing to become a vegetarian again and do no harm to innocent animals. It is something I think about everyday and I feel the need to just jump off the fence and choose.
Also, trying to control my desires for craving material things. It is so ingrained...so many things I think that I need, so many things that will give me a false sense of happiness. But what is it that I actually need? Do I need a new tv, do I need a new bed frame, do I need a new pair of jeans? Do I actually need these things? Do I need to build a house? How can I justify this when so many people have it so bad? How can I possibly think that I "need" this stuff when all I really need are the basics. And how can I want these things and think it's okay to want and want and want. And why do I want this stuff in the first place...
It is an endless circle for which I have no answer, at least not yet. Sometimes I think that I should just say fuck it, I have the money to buy some of what I want so why not? Why not be as hedonistic as I want? Why should I give a thought to others misfortune when I could be living it up, getting all that I can get and being fat with a false sense of joy? It just doesn't settle well with me. Don't get me wrong, I do buy things that I "want" on top of things that I need..but I am making a very deliberate effort to by less, to want less.
It can become very depressing when dwelling on it for too long. There is a very fine line...
Oh, I forgot to add...I think we should get together and have a round table discussion about these subjects...with some wine of course.
I think it would make for an interesting evening and hopefully we'd feel a sense of relief (even if false)afterward.
Thoughts?
We can admit that we’re killers … but we’re not going to kill today. That’s all it takes! Knowing that we’re not going to kill today! ~ Captain James T. Kirk, Stardate 3193.0
(runs and hides his dorky shame)
Wisdom from Kirk always saves the day.
My personal thought on the meat vs. no meat issue is that whether it was God or Mother Nature, something created us with a taste for meat. I feel we are naturally omnivorous. Of course, I think that animals should be treated well up until we are ready to eat them.
Round table with wine sounds good to me. And I need some TiVo assistance.
I'm up for a round table too! I couldn't sleep again last night but this time I called in sick to work. I'm really run down and I need a recharge badly! Some wine and friendly banter could be just what I need!
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