Proof that what we first believe to be true isn't always true
I recently uncovered the following article about one of my "favorite" (using the term very loosely) people who occasionally inspires me to early a healthy and less than 6 grams of fat Subway Sub instead of a million other worse-for-me foods.
Now I feel shocked and betrayed! (Not on the same scale as the whole Clinton- Lewensky betrayal but you get my general dismay...)
Read on...
"You’ve come to know and love him as Jared Fogle, the guy who lost over 200 pounds by eating nothing but Subway sandwiches alone. As a result, he went from being just plain ol’ “Jared” to the much more exciting “Jared Fogle, the Subway Guy.”
Well, it turns out in college, the All-American Jared was known for something entirely different. According to our source, while studying at Indiana University, Fogle ran a very successful pornography rental company out of his bedroom. His porn collection was vast and extensive, and Fogle rook his business pretty seriously. A video would run a patron a dollar a day (cheap!), and people would come from all over to take advantage of the deal. Needless to say, Jared had enough porn to keep his customers happy.
As far as his incredible weight loss goes, it turns out it wasn’t as motivated as you would think. In fact, what got Jared hooked on Subway in the first place was laziness. The sandwich chain had opened a branch on the first floor of Jared’s dorm, and what with his busy porn company, Jared began eating the sandwiches out of extreme laziness. It was the closest fast food available! Just imagine how different our lives would be if an Arby’s had opened up there instead? We’d probably be watching Jared on some TLC special about how he hasn’t gotten out of bed for 6 years. Though, we imagine his right arm would still be in tip-top shape."
Yikes! So sheer laziness and porn can help a person to lose 200 pounds??? I only need to lose about 20- how much lazy-porn combo will that take? Bring it on!!!
Now I feel shocked and betrayed! (Not on the same scale as the whole Clinton- Lewensky betrayal but you get my general dismay...)
Read on...
"You’ve come to know and love him as Jared Fogle, the guy who lost over 200 pounds by eating nothing but Subway sandwiches alone. As a result, he went from being just plain ol’ “Jared” to the much more exciting “Jared Fogle, the Subway Guy.”
Well, it turns out in college, the All-American Jared was known for something entirely different. According to our source, while studying at Indiana University, Fogle ran a very successful pornography rental company out of his bedroom. His porn collection was vast and extensive, and Fogle rook his business pretty seriously. A video would run a patron a dollar a day (cheap!), and people would come from all over to take advantage of the deal. Needless to say, Jared had enough porn to keep his customers happy.
As far as his incredible weight loss goes, it turns out it wasn’t as motivated as you would think. In fact, what got Jared hooked on Subway in the first place was laziness. The sandwich chain had opened a branch on the first floor of Jared’s dorm, and what with his busy porn company, Jared began eating the sandwiches out of extreme laziness. It was the closest fast food available! Just imagine how different our lives would be if an Arby’s had opened up there instead? We’d probably be watching Jared on some TLC special about how he hasn’t gotten out of bed for 6 years. Though, we imagine his right arm would still be in tip-top shape."
Yikes! So sheer laziness and porn can help a person to lose 200 pounds??? I only need to lose about 20- how much lazy-porn combo will that take? Bring it on!!!
posted by virgo beemaiden | 3:03 PM
5 Comments:
That is odd...what is the source?
It almost sounds too good to be true...Jared, teh porn magnate...
The fact remains that it worked. He lost weight by eating Subway food. I don't care if he's a lazy porn king. (Judge not lest ye be judged, let he who has not sinned cast the first stone, etc.)
Hmm...you know, they do say that sex burns a shitload of calories...I wonder how many calories Jarod was 'burning' between customers? How is that for a mental picture, a 350 pound Jarod 'working' off the calories round the clock...
Could this, combined with a slightly calorie-restricted diet, helped him shed those excess pounds?
Well, thanks to that image I'm going to vomit up my breakfast now, so that'll help me get rid of some calories.
teh new Jarod diet!!!
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